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#Down loading when you think about love how to#
If you think that there's something going on between you and your partner that means that they don't love you as much as you might expect, reflecting on what they might be doing, why they might be doing it, and what role you might play in the whole situation can help you figure out what's going on and determine how to proceed. Those are things you can control, instead of demanding your partner demonstrate their love in a very specific way." Are you really hurt, sad, scared, or embarrassed, instead of angry? Maybe there is another need that isn't being met, and instead you are blaming it on 'not thinking your partner really loves you.' Maybe you think your partner doesn't respect you, or your don't trust them, or they hurt your feelings, or you feel embarrassed by your feelings. Although this feeling will probably pass once you really get comfortable with your partner, it may be a good idea to carry around an extra hanky, just to be safe. "If you feel frustrated or angry when your partner doesn't seem to care about you, look what's underneath that frustration. A study found that falling in love can cause you to feel sick and display physical symptoms similar to that of anxiety or stress, like sweat. "The easiest way to manage someone else's behavior is to manage your own," Sara Stanizai, MA, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told INSIDER.
If you've thought that past partners haven't loved you as much or like there was something off in your connection with them, it might be something that you need to deal with internally and not actually about your partner at all. Then, reflecting on if that's what they're often doing for you can help you sort out if that's what going on or not. Asking yourself what your partner asks for (like hugs) can help you determine how they receive love.
"So if I am a person who, I give love by doing things for somebody else, but my partner receives love through, maybe, compliments or little notes here and there or pretty much nice, kind words, then he or she will never really receive love in the way I'm giving it," Vossenkemper explained. Tara Vossenkemper, MA, LPC, ACS, the founder, clinical director, and therapist at The Counseling Hub, told INSIDER that you might not realize that your partner loves you as much as they do because they're showing you love in the way that they receive, not in the way that you do. If you don't speak the same love language, you could have some problems with communication. Essentially, each person "speaks" one of these love languages and one of the keys to a good and successful relationship is deciphering your partner's love language. Gary Chapman, PhD, developed the idea that there are five love languages.
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